Since my first post last night, I have been thinking of what amazing insights I was going to share tonight in my first reflection. And I had nothing. And so it goes, my pattern. When I signed for MySpace 6 years ago, Facebook 3 years ago, Etsy 2 months ago, I was faced with this exact dilemma. The empty "about me" me box staring at me from my screen. And, as previously discussed, I fill it with words that make me sound like an 80 year-old lonely cat lady. So, all day I have been thinking about what I would write tonight. Thinking that my musings must be profound, extraordinary, spectacular. Perfect. RIGHT.
About 30 minutes ago I was eating dinner with my boyfriend, WB, when he reminded me that I had to blog tonight. Like I had forgot. I told him I was a bit nervous about it, because I didn't know what to write. It needed to be good, lots of people were going to read it! And then he gave me the gift of reflection in the moment, and consequently, my topic.
So, the journey begins. Somewhere along the line, I have become used to the idea that I must do everything RIGHT. Not perfect, but right. Not a perfectionist, but a "rightionist". This does not translate into arguments (WB may disagree), but rather into tasks I have taken on. There is a reason that my nickname at work is "textbook". As my co-worker TL would say, since he gave the nickname, I do everything like it says it should be done in the textbook. And it is 100% true. And 100% boring. And 100% hindering.
For example, a few weeks ago, I decided I wanted to train to run a 5k. I hate running. But, this did not stop me from latching on to this idea. Because the RIGHT and the best way to lose weight is to run. Of course, I needed to run the 5k RIGHT. So, I spent 2 days researching 5k training plans online until I found the RIGHT one. I printed it, and hung it on the fridge. The plan states I should run on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. It has been there for 6 weeks. I haven't run once. Why? Because, I don't have the RIGHT shoes. And when I feel motivated to begin this routine, I look at the plan, and it isn't the RIGHT day. Seriously. I actually will not run for 20 minutes on the treadmill because it is Wednesday, not Tuesday. This is one example, but there are many more. I work so much on getting a project started the RIGHT way, that sometimes I never even get started. And sadly, I almost always lose my creativity along the way.
At the end of my dinner conversation with WB, he said to me, "sometimes you just have to wing it". And I just did.
I am a rightionist who is striving to wing it every once in a while.