Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I am willing to commit

Day 6

Commitment. In general, I have always thought that I was great at committing. Take for example my relationship with WB, going 7 years strong. Or, my commitment to my education, a 10 year journey to date, with a high likelihood of continuation. Those are the really big commitments; I am not so great it turns out at the smaller commitments.

Last year, one of my dearest friends RL and I signed up for a yoga workshop at a new yoga studio in town that focused on hot/Bikram yoga. For those of you not familiar, this is a 90 minute yoga class that is done in a room that is heated to 105 degrees. With no fans or open windows. I went twice, teetering between puking and passing out for the entire 90 minutes. And then I gave up on hot yoga because it was too hard and uncomfortable. RL on the other hand committed; so much so that she took a 20 day challenge where she did this torture, otherwise known as hot yoga, everyday. I admired her commitment to such pain. The crazy thing was, she didn't find it painful, she loved it.

So what is it about committing to the small stuff? For me, I think it is about pain avoidance. It is easy to avoid the hard stuff; however, there is no gain in avoiding the hard or uncomfortable stuff. I avoid the gym and keeping my closet organized. When I am upset about something I will not speak up. I ignore my lack of commitment to the small stuff, because it is uncomfortable.

On my way home from work today I was listening to my favorite band of the moment, Mumford and Sons. A line in one of their songs stuck out for me: "I will find strength in pain". I like this for lots of reasons, but I think the biggest is that it speaks to action. It speaks to commitment. It speaks to recognizing pain, and then going one step further and committing to push through it to get to the really good stuff-the growth.

Outside of school and normal daily activities, I have never committed to doing anything for 20 days straight. Until now. And even though creating this blog every night hasn't been painful (yet), it is still a commitment. A big step for me. I have made a decision to commit, even though it may be painful at times, or at the least, a bit uncomforatble to put my stuff out there for others to see. I have made the decision to find strength in pain.

About me:
1. I am a rightionist who is striving to wing it every once in a while.
2. I am inspired by others; I am on this earth to relate to others. I am a social worker.
3. I love stuff, until it turns to shit.
4. I am aware of extraordinary growth, even on ordinary days.
5. I embrace change, if it's my idea.
6. I am willing to commit to the smaller stuff; I will find strength in pain.

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