I remember as a kid thinking that I wasn't good at anything. It wasn't for lack of opportunity. I tried rocket football cheerleading around age 8, that lasted one year. In eighth grade I joined the band; I couldn't make any noise come out of my flute. It was really pathetic...I didn't even get a chance to try to play the right notes. Gym class alone proved that I wasn't made for sports; art class wasn't too different. I spent most of my childhood and teenage years, and even some of my adult years thinking that I wasn't good at anything. That I wasn't born with any natural talent for anything. Looking back now, this is pretty sad.
I finally found out what I was good at about 5 years ago. I am really good at school (I am fully aware that what I will write next might make you hate me....that isn't the intention, but hey, I have to be good at SOMETHING!). School is very easy for me, it keeps me busy and takes time, but it has never really been hard. Yes, I get stuck in math, and science isn't my best subject, but I just have to work a bit harder at it to get it. But here's the thing-I am good at school because it is set up for people like me. I can sit still and pay attention for long periods of time; I learn from seeing and hearing rather than doing. The crazy thing is, I did terrible in my first couple years of college. Like, D's and E's terrible. And then I had a semester where I got ok grades. And, I realized I could be good at something. Finally! And from then on, I was hooked.
This amazing feeling happened again recently. I started making paper crafts, specifically, Polish paper stars. As I mentioned above, art was never really my thing. I thought I had zero talent, and zero creativity to go along with it. I thought this until I taught myself how to make paper stars in December, and realized I was good at it. And the creativity just started flowing...I have too many ideas to create every one. Another cool thing about my creativity opening up is that I realized I am not a "crafter", I am an artist. Imagine that...the girl who can only draw stick figures, and has to have paint-by-number to make anything coherent from paint and brushes is viewing herself as an artist.
So what is the lesson in this? For me, it is that we are all good at things. But, when we believe that we aren't, we literally block ourselves from exposing our talent. I am not sure why I wasn't able to see what I was good at until my 20's, but I fully expect to find even more things I am really great at in my 30's. And I am so glad that I am able to see some of those talents coming out...it gives me self-worth, confidence, and the things I am good at make me happy when I do them.
1. I am a rightionist who is striving to wing it every once in a while.
2. I am inspired by others; I am on this earth to relate to others. I am a social worker.
3. I love stuff, until it turns to shit.
4. I am aware of extraordinary growth, even on ordinary days.
5. I embrace change, if it's my idea.
6. I am willing to commit to the smaller stuff; I will find strength in pain.
7. I have to find my own way. I have found my way to loving writing, and am on my way to loving myself.
8. I am a daughter, a girlfriend, a sister, a cousin and a best friend. I belong to a family.
9. My hope springs eternal.
10. I am able to realize when it's time to simplify.
11. I have talents; I am an academic, an artist, and many other things yet discovered.