The Skinny Jeans Crisis

Maybe it's just me, but the late 20's early 30's is an awkward age. Last year when I was writing "20 days to 30", I wrote about getting lost in stores. I got lost in the store again this weekend, and more specifically, got lost in skinny jeans. Usually I avoid new trends, which is why I am all of a sudden interested in skinny jeans, even though they have probably come close to running their course. Surprisingly enough, I actually like the trend this spring of brightly colored skinny jeans, so I've been window shopping for some recently.

So last night, I went to the mall to try to find some skinny jeans in a fun color. I went to few stores without much luck, and landed in one of those stores I was probably too old to shop in-but I went anyway. My goodness was I soon overwhelmed. They had skinny jeans, extra skinny jeans, ultra skinny jeans and jeggins. I was frozen with uncertainty, tried on a couple, didn't buy any, and left. I thought I might have more luck with the internet. The opposite actually happened. I went online and saw a pair I thought might work, so I read the reviews. One person commented that these were perfect skinny jeans if you didn't "want to look like you were trying to wear your teenage daughters jeans". Shit. Here we go again. And I didn't even know if these jeans would be classified as skinny, extra skinny or ultra skinny! So, as I try to wrap my brain around the skinny jean rules, this is what I have come up with:

Rules of Skinny Jeans:
1. If you are a teenager, you should wear a certain type of skinny jean. 
2. If you have a teenager, you should wear a certain type of skinny jean. 
3. If you are neither, don't bother. 
4. If you have any body shape other than that of Kate Moss, you are at risk of feeling like a fat ass in skinny jeans.

And these rules don't even begin to cover the color rules! So I went back at it today. I went to a different store, and dug through 18 different styles of jeans. I found some I liked that I think are supposed to be for a 30 something person, and don't make me feel like a fat ass. I am still too chicken to try a bold color, because I don't want to look like I am trying to be 18 instead of 30. (I saw a recent photo of Kris Jenner wearing red jeans, getting RIPPED by a  fashion writer for trying to look too young. This had made me nervous about the color, even though I know I'm not her age) I also bought a scarf from a home shopping network yesterday...I don't even want to know what that means!

When I was 26 and got lost in stores for the first time, I thought I would be secure in what I could wear by my 30's. No such luck.  If anyone finds the manual for what to wear in your 30's please let me know.