Monday, May 21, 2012

It's all mental

So I have had two good runs since the shoe incident. My old shoes are treating me just fine, and somehow, a miracle has caused my leg and ankle pain to just be gone. I really just don't get how it could be so bad for over a month, then just be gone, but it is.

After the rough day Thursday, I went out with renewed determination Friday. I met my friend Niki at a trail after work, and we decided to do 3 miles. It was her first run since she completed a half-marathon. It was also nearly 90 degrees and sunny. We took it slow (slow for me, REALLY slow for her-she runs a lot faster than me) and made 3 miles easily. It was so HOT though! My face was all red, and I just couldn't cool down. I just hate running in that kind of heat.

I went out for 4 miles tonight. The weather was great, overcast and 60. As soon as I started, I felt like I was going to panic. It was really breath was short and labored, I felt nervous all over, and tense. It was almost like I was having a panic attack. After about 1/2 mile my breath expanded and became more steady, my shoulders relaxed and I was fine. I made 4 miles just fine. As I was thinking about why I felt like that, I realized that I am nervous every single time I get ready to run. I don't know why, but I get a really nervous feeling in my stomach and shoulders. I think it might have been worse today because I have some extra nerves about an event I have put together for work that is happening tomorrow. The run itself helps to get rid of my nerves, but it seems to spike them right before. I am not sure if it is a lack of confidence, a worry about injury, or something else I just haven't figured out yet. The first 1/2 mile today, I thought to myself 20 times that I had made a mistake signing up for the 10K. I don't think that now...running is such a mental challenge for me. As soon as I think I have something figured out to make it easier, something new shows up to challenge me. I saw this the other day, and I think it is so appropriate for tonight :)

So my plan is to make this a 4 mile week, next week a 5 mile week, then do a couple of 6 mile runs before the 10K in three weekends. Ahh!

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